I’m laying in bed in a vegetative state of mind. I danced my legs off in three nights one after another. You know, it’s fun: communication, flirting, meeting different (sub)cultures, reading (and writing) body language. I like it that way. But it’s very easy to lose your head in a metropolis.
On one hand, it seems that you deserved that good enriched spare time after five days working eight or more hours and pushing your limits at a computer solving different technical problems. I like my job, but as in any other job, there happen things that are too difficult, very risky or just boring and making you tired, but you still need to do that yourself. Then a weekend comes, and you having robotic head go to a semi-bar semi-club to meet friends, talk to strangers, or just dive deep into trance while listening to music. Usually one club is not enough. You get hooked and go further. The night ends up at 1 PM at a cheap food store buying yogurt and pelmeni to revitalize your body. What’s the point of that exhaust? Why do I need that hardcore? Because of all those moments that I see and experience while living such a life, which are only dreams to others. 
On the other hand, the speed of achieving your objectives slows down because of those parties. I worked on Halma game probably just a couple of weeks per year all in all. And I would already like to start new games, and analyzing and learning new technologies. From practice I know that all wishes become true, but it takes much more time than you plan. And when you spend more than half of your weekend in a dizzy state, it seems impossible at all to achieve something personal. I have a conspiracy theory that alcohol and various illegal drugs are indirectly propagated to lower the possibilities of the masses, so that these who manage the world in the underground, would stay in their leading position. Oh. I hate politics. At least it’s good that nobody forces anyone to drink alcohol, as well as one can break the norms and traditions. I like to choose by myself when to be dizzy and when to have clear mind.
I also noticed that different places I visit associate with different drinks, because of drinking them there. For example, Club der Visionäre associates with Augustiner beer, I order gin-tonic at Bar 25 by default, I tried and liked shots of Borgmann at Salon zur wilden Renate, and I usually choose absinth with RedBull at Watergate and Berghain. It’s the culture of alcoholism, isn’t it? The drinks are drinks. Sometimes I need them, sometimes not. The most important to me here is the objective of socialization. I want to get rid of the last bits of shyness and hesitation so that I could live the rest of my life only with those limits which are not dependent on me. And I feel the progress of achieving that.
I like living like this. I just don’t wanna stuck in the whirl of partying. I should probably go clubbing just one night per week and spend the rest of my free time at home at a computer. 
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